Swiss Guard
This poem is based on the double murder of the Commandant of the Papal Swiss Guards,
along with his wife, by another, young member of the Swiss Guards who was reportedly
his lover for many years and who, in turn, committed suicide soon after the double murders in the Vatican in 1998.

Oh, my commandant….
How could you do this
After I’ve given you so many years of great service?
Why do you treat me badly by refusing to give me a medal?
Have I not been your lover for years, and now…
When you discover I have other lovers in the Swiss Guard
Why do you, an adulterer yourself, have right to feel upset?

I have kept our secret from your wife and the pope.
If they suspect, then you must bear the burden,
Not blame me for discovery of your infidelity.
Every night I kneel in the Vatican,
Serve your needs both above and below.
How other guards have found out, I do not know.
I refuse to be the target of your jealous rage.

Now you will pay the ultimate sacrifice.
Tomorrow I will kill you and your wife,
Then turn the gun on myself.  Never could I bear the shame.
You will die not because I love you too little,
But because my love and devotion for you is too much—
I stand on guard in my orange, blue and red uniform,
My face without passion, but my thoughts stray to you,
Standing there, naked, erect before me.

Always I have refused attentions of cardinals and bishops,
Kept myself pure and shared myself only within elite of the Guard—
Young, handsome, lean and muscled and so very willing….
I assist in training each new recruit,
Slowly strip them of pretense and uniforms,
Teach them slow submission, obedience…. observe strict secrecy
According to the vows we have each taken.
Now, my commandant, my Alois, all this will end by tomorrow.
Forgive me, my love, I can no longer bear the cross.