Once, while lying in bed,
His hands caressing my back
With a tenderness my body
Had never known,
I realized I’d longed for this,
Unconsciously searched, yearned
My way from man to man,
Looking to be held
In a way that would feel “forever.”

Then again, it wasn’t once
Nor was it twice or three times
But a repetition of his loving-kindness,
Like balm upon my back, my arms,
My thighs…. Insisting on my nakedness,
His touch a touch that does not lie,
That in some strange manner
More believable than words,
Seeps between defenses of my mind,
Soaks into the pores of my skin
And into bones that hold no memory
Of being held in love the way he loves.

My body is not some grave
That receives a lifeless body.
It is a living thing that breathes
As it takes in, receives, envelopes
What is slowly placed inside,
Shouldering the heavy weight
As though it were as light as the soul.
Bodily, it responds
With sighs of gratitude,
Moans of pleasure,
And a deeper desire to give in return,
To honor, love the giver who
Breathes beside, reciprocates,
Dreams together one dream.