I wonder if prior to that moment
I knew anything of sexual desire, until
My hands touched him, his lips, his arms,
His belly, his thighs with tenderness
So absorbing I forgot the color of the walls.
Only his skin captured my attention,
Its textured glow reflected candlelight, further
Diffused by glass in two large windows.

I wanted to memorize
Every moment, every pore of skin,
Read it like a treasure map,
Learn every line as others learn prayers
Or the dying learn their fate– slowly
Welcoming the inevitable, anticipating
Every unhurried breath.  That night, for one brief hour
I heard gentle moans, his or mine I wasn’t sure,
Enjoying sensations, territory I’d never explored before.

Modesty was completely absent, desire rampant.
I lay upon the bed, naked, open, fully spread
Upon red sheets, caressed, kissed
With such boundless patience I almost cried.
How could I have lived my days and not known
This fire, this exquisite penetration to the core,
All defenses gone, mesmerized by kisses
That sucked atmosphere from room.

In dimness of mind, in that dark space,
Held in grace, in beauty, pure
Delight and play, I was baptized into something
I had never known before and might never know again.
This ecstasy was nothing less than an encounter with an
Angel, an experience of unsullied rapture, wordless
Prayer and praise embodied through his body, his legs,
His eyes beholding my inmost being, my soul touched,
Forever stripped of any sense of shame.

Later, perhaps an hour before first hint of light,
I woke in darkness, saw he was gone,
The bed empty, his warmth absent,
Only a trace of scent left behind.
Picking up clothes from floor, I dressed
In silence, a rising sense of panic as it dawned—
I had forgotten his name.